How to Protect Yourself on Social Media

New YouTube video! In this one I share the tips I took to clean up my social media feed so I was being exposed to content that made me feel good, helped with my recovery, and was aligned with my goals.

The accounts we follow and the information we see on a daily basis really affect how we think and feel, so I hope these steps help you clean up your feeds so you are exposing yourself to content that makes you feel good and lifts you up 💖

The song that plays in the video is: Ahorita by Carlos Sadness

To stay updated with all the videos I release, make sure to subscribe! Thanks for watching friends 🙂 xoxo

four days without a phone

The Original LG - Tough Times

I lost my phone four days ago. I left it in an Uber in Paris on the way to the airport and have now been living four days completely without a phone. Since it has been quite destabilizing I wanted to ramble on what has come up for me during this experience – and in case you’re wondering, no I still do not have a phone, lol.

It has been a strange and eye-opening experience. From my complete helplessness in being able to get it back (it was either getting on my flight or trying to find the phone), to having to surrender to being without it, to losing communication with the outside world (emails have been my main form of communication), and then dealing with how to get a new phone without having a phone to make phone calls with — it has been a serious practice in surrender and patience.

You don’t realize how much you rely on something until you do not have it, and our phones pretty much contain our lives nowadays.

On top of that, I was sick on my flight back from Paris with a cold and felt depleted when I got home. Then on Saturday I woke up with terrible cramps and got my period. It has felt like one thing after another!

I have felt disoriented and unsure of what to do with myself. Which made me realize: we truly are addicted to our phones. I have not thought of myself as a very phone dependent person, but this experience made me realize how real the addiction is.

I feel like I have gone through stages of withdrawal these past few days: it started with shock and disbelief, then anger and frustration, followed by sadness and isolation, and now finally release.

Friday and Saturday were the worst, but today I woke up and thought: well I have to go on without it.

I went out and did all the things I normally “needed” my phone to do. I went on a hike in complete silence, I drove around LA without google maps, picked up my boyfriend for lunch at the exact time we had agreed upon (no little timing changes or running late), read my New Yorker Magazine when I got a pedicure, took chances by going to places without knowing if they were open or not (and surprise - the library was closed) and then adjusting.

It has been strange, and I do feel like I am missing out in some weird way and was scared as a female doing things alone without any way of being able to reach out to someone if something went wrong, but after pushing through these discomforts, I am seeing the gift in it.

The freedom and space it has given me is lovely. I am not constantly bombarded by messages all throughout my day. When I am with someone, I give them my full attention, having nothing to pull at my thoughts or check on even for a second. When I am out and about, I am fully present. When I am at my apartment I have done things that are more introspective and nourishing - I have read interesting articles, read more of my books, and journaled each day. I have gone to sleep MUCH earlier each night. And I overall just feel calmer.

LG Faves: September 2019

TOLG September Favorites

These are some things I have been enjoying a lot lately so I wanted to share them here with all of you!

TV Show: Unbelievable on Netflix

I didn’t want to watch this show at first because I was scared to watch a story about such a heavy subject matter. It follows the violent rape of a young teen, Marie Adler, who is accused of lying about the rape by two male detectives who are very condescending and treat her poorly. It then goes on to follow a string of similar rapes that take place in Washington and Colorado and the two incredible female detectives who start investigating the similar crimes. I was so hooked to this show that I watched the entire thing in less than 24 hours. This is crazy for me because I rarely get hooked to shows, and usually prefer reading in the evening. This is the single best thing I have watched in the past few years. It was extremely educational, horrifying and moving. I highly recommend everyone, especially women, watch this powerful show.  

Food: Yogurt with fresh berries & granola

I know this sounds boring but it has been SO HOT in LA, that I have been craving very cooling foods. Yogurt with fresh berries and granola is one of the few things that actually sounds good most of the time. I eat this most days at home and even when I go out to breakfast I have been ordering this because it has been the most appealing to me. When I am feeling so hot and zapped of energy it’s hard for me to want eggs or anything cooked. Homemade granola really ups the yogurt game, and when the fruit is fresh and in season it’s delicious. Sometimes you crave simple and light, and this has done just the trick!

Nonfiction Book: Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino

I was very excited for the release of this book in August. Jia Tolentino’s New Yorker articles are always my favorite to read. Her writing is sharp, relentlessly self-examining, horrifying, hopeful and brilliant. I very much enjoyed reading it and seeing her speak at Skylight Books. If you haven’t read Jia’s writing before, I highly recommend checking out her New Yorker articles or this book!

Fiction Book: City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert

I am flying out to Paris this Thursday and wanted to take a book on my trip that would be a delight to read. I did some research and City of Girls looked like the perfect book. I love Elizabeth Gilbert’s writing and the story is dazzling and fun. It's a love story that takes place in the New York City theater world during the 1940s. I am about a third of the way through right now and loving it so far.

Movement: Pop Physique

I am obsessed with Pop. Like completely hooked. I would go every day if I could. It’s a barre workout that is just so much more fun and hip than any of the other barre classes I have done. What I love about Pop is that I am always left feeling good and energized afterwards. I have done many workouts that don’t feel good on my body and leave me feeling completely depleted. Pop is the complete opposite for me. My body loves it and I have been seeing such great results. If you’re in LA or NYC — I HIGHLY recommend it.

Movie: Hustlers

I saw this movie yesterday and really liked it. I went into it skeptical and unsure of how I would feel about the story line, but I saw that it had good reviews and that showtime worked the best for us, so I figured — give it a shot. And I am so glad I did. The movie really surprised me, more than being a movie about strippers or revenge on Wall Street guys it felt like a story about strong female friendships and finding a family and a sense of belonging when you’ve been dealt a tough lot in life. I also felt like it was a different way of showing female strength and intelligence that didn’t involve trying to make it in a man’s world, which I really appreciated. It was an important story to be told and really blew me away.

How Reading Fiction Helped me with Recovery

Reading Fiction and Eating Disorder Recovery

A big part of recovery for me was finding activities that I enjoyed doing simply for pleasure on my free time. Hobbies that had nothing to do with weight loss, food, dieting or appearance. It was difficult at first – because I had been so focused on productivity, improvement and perfection – but with time I was able to find a few things that I did purely for joy and relaxation.

An important hobby that helped me with recovery and my overall happiness was: reading fiction novels. Reading simply to get lost in a good story. Prior to this, I was reading non-fiction, self-help or diet books, constantly trying to learn or find some sort of hack to make my life better.  

Fiction helped me escape and take a break.

There was also a very healthy element to reading stories where I couldn’t see what the people looked like. I wasn’t constantly being bombarded by unhealthy body image standards but instead being able to imagine and create my own make believe world. It’s an unfortunate truth that we don’t have inclusive messaging within the media, so reading helped me get away from all of that. It was a gift that helped me tremendously during recovery.

Here are some of my favorite fiction books that I read during this time. Some of these books are light-hearted women focused novels, some are more dramatic and serious, some are fantasy sci-fi novels, but they were all chosen from a place of wanting to read a fun, pleasurable story that completely transported me. If you’re looking for a great read, I am sure you will find something good in this list! Here they are:

Dune by Frank Herbert

Sweetbitter by Stephanie Danler

The Power by Naomi Alderman

My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness

The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Real Magic by Emily Croy Barker

This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

Is your Wedding Day the best day of your life? An exploration...

Lisa Simpson Marriage

I have a lot to say on this subject so I will be breaking it up into multiple parts

Part I

A few years ago, a friend was upset with me when I was not able to attend her wedding. She was so upset that she stopped speaking with me and eventually told me that she had decided to give up on our friendship. She felt that I showed her that our friendship didn’t matter to me when I decided to not attend her wedding, as this was supposed to be “the best day of her life.”

I was surprised to hear that because:

  1. I do not share that same opinion

  2. I didn’t know it would be such a big deal, and

  3. I wasn’t expecting such a drastic response

I didn’t realize that a friendship could be terminated over not attending a wedding, so this got me thinking – is your wedding day really supposed to be the best day of your life? Why do so many people, particularly women, have this belief? And what are my views on it? 

Where I am from, which is probably like most places in the US, having a lavish, over the top wedding has become a show of status and wealth. I feel like people are trying to outdo each other and there is something about it that doesn’t sit well with me.

The number of destination weddings requiring you to travel to fancy far off places, spend a lot of money, and take days off of work for something that isn’t of your choosing just baffles me.

You’re asking me to use my vacation days and extra hard earned money to go to a place that I didn’t choose, and do a bunch of events and activities that I didn’t agree to do, for you? We are all adults now and I choose to do what I want.

None of it feels authentic to me and to be extremely honest, it feels like a meaningless display of pretense. What are people trying to prove? This is a special event for you and your husband-to-be and your close families to celebrate your love for each other, why are you asking people to travel across the world to a place where you don’t even live to do this?

Another element of this that makes me uncomfortable is when you put a lot of pressure on an event to live up to something huge - aka the best day of your life.

I have had multiple experiences in my life where I have big expectations for a certain day or event, and then it just doesn’t measure up and I am left feeling really disappointed.

For me these were things like: graduation, getting into and attending my dream school (Stanford) – this was a huge let down, getting into the sorority I wanted, my first job after college, or having sex, none of these things ended up being that great and they left me feeling low, so I shifted my perspective.

I have realized that things that I don’t make a big deal about, but instead simply enjoy and appreciate the moment, end up being some of my best days.  Like: meeting a new friend, going on a hike with them and then having a lovely glass of wine and conversation. Or a normal day that ends up being amazing because you slept well, wake up feeling good, have a delicious cup of coffee, go on a nice walk and read a good book - I have chosen to enjoy savoring the simple things.

To me, these big events are so done up and seem to be a bigger source of stress and anxiety than enjoyment, and I guess I don’t put that day or even romantic relationships on as huge a pedestal as it seems that most other women do.

In Part II I am going to dive into the history of marriages/wedding ceremonies and explore the feminist perspective on these topics.. Stay tuned!

Random Self Care Thoughts

Self Care Thoughts

Self-Care doesn’t have to be meditation, working out and green juice — to me it’s honoring what you truly need when you need some comfort and care — which could be wine, a nap, seeing friends or funny YouTube videos.

Recently for me it was a matcha, crying and Friends reruns at 11am on a Thursday morning... 🍵😢📺 Here’s what happened:

A few weeks ago, I went to the DMV to get my CA driver’s license. The day before I prepared everything I needed, and spent an hour studying for the test. I woke up extra early, got there right when they opened and waited in the long line. I had been there for two hours and gone through two people reviewing and approving all my documents.

I thought I was finally at the part where I would take my test and picture and be done. NOPE!

The next lady I was sent to was AWFUL and said she didn’t like that my bills said either my first name or middle name aka “weren’t consistent” and told me to leave and come back when I had bills that were “consistent.” When I tried to ask her why the other people approved my documents, or show her that my birth certificate has both names, she said she didn’t care what they did or what my birth certificate said she wouldn’t let me go through. I was shocked and frustrated that she wouldn’t even listen or answer my questions.

I didn’t know what else to do since she was completely shutting me out so I just left. I called my mom and told her the situation and she told me to go home, get what I needed and go back.

I would usually push myself to do that but I didn’t have it in me on that day. I felt so angry, depleted and disrespected, that I just wanted to go home, feel safe and comforted — so I honored that.

Right away the first thing I wanted was a big delicious matcha, to let out my feelings of frustration and rejection, and to just sit on the couch and give myself the permission to watch something lighthearted that made me laugh and feel good.

A voice in my head was saying, you should be working, or doing something productive, getting this thing done that you need to get done, or reading something thought provoking – but I ignored all those voices and gave myself some comfort — and it was exactly what I needed. Don’t judge yourself for whatever you need. Let yourself off the hook sometimes, sometimes that what self care is all about.

LG Faves: April 2019

LG Faves - March 2019

Hi friends! I am sorry I have been so MIA this past month. Things have been busy and I haven’t been able to sit down, settle my thoughts and write something out. I have gotten out of the habit, but I really miss it. I will be writing more soon, I promise. In the meantime here are some of the things I have been loving in March/April!

Music: Gabrielle Aplin

One of Gabrielle’s songs came up on a Spotify playlist I was listening to and I loved her voice and the song lyrics. I looked her up and then fell into a rabbit hole of her pretty, girly music. My favorite songs have been: Waking Up Slowly, Miss You and Nothing Really Matter.

TV shows: Shrill & Broad City

Shrill has been an incredible, refreshing show i have watched. i talked about how it has made me feel and why I’ve loved it here.

Broad City is a hilarious quirky show I can watch at any time of the day. I love seeing Ilana and Abbi’s ridiculous antics and how they are there for each other no matter what happens. The show always makes me laugh out loud and leaves me feeling good.

Food: Sweet Potato Crust Quiche

I love making this quiche at the beginning of the week and having it for brunch or lunch throughout the week. It is a nice way to switch up what I usually eat but I am still getting some great protein and vegetables. It is satisfying, easy to make and delicious. I loosely follow this recipe from Ambitious Kitchen but I make it in my own way — I don’t use the vegetable suggestions in her recipe, but instead my favorite combination is: red onion, spinach, zucchini and red bell pepper. I also love mushrooms instead of the zucchini sometimes. And, I don’t use egg whites, like the recipe suggests, but instead use about seven eggs, and I use whatever cheese I have on hand which has been: goat cheese, feta cheese, Daiya cheddar or mozzarella cheese.

Nonfiction Book: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

My best friend HIGHLY recommended this book and I absolutely see why. It is a book that discusses attachment theory and how by understanding your attachment style you can navigate relationships more wisely given your style and that of your partner. It is “an insightful look at the science behind love, [so readers can have] a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.”

Fiction Book: The Bell Jar

I started reading this classic novel and am enjoying it so far. I want to make my way through reading classic feminist texts so I knew this was a must read. The themes of mental health and feeling stuck in a patriarchal society always hit home for me so I am excited to continue reading it and sharing my thoughts.

Cool Things I've Seen Recently

Cool things I’ve seen recently

I’ve read/seen/listened to some interesting stuff on the inter-webs recently that I wanted to share. They have been thought provoking, inspiring, and fun. Hope you enjoy!

Inspiring

New York Times Article - Jenna Wortham on the Exhilarating Work That Leaves Her ‘Naked and Shivering’

TED Talk - Multipotentialites: Why some of us don't have one true calling | Emilie Wapnick

Thought-provoking

New York Times Opinion Piece: Don’t Let Sex Distract you from the Revolution

Pardon My French Podcast — Escaping Expectations with Hayley Quinn

TED talk — Searching for love to escape ourselves | Hayley Quinn

Giggles

Lets end things off with a good laugh — here are two videos that made me LOL:

SNL Weekend Update: Pete Davidson & John Mulaney Review Clint Eastwood's The Mule

James Corden: The David Beckham Statue Prank

Spring Playlist - Pretty

Spring Playlist - Pretty

Pretty melodic songs that lift your spirit and remind you that colorful spring flowers are starting to bloom. These are delicate fun songs that build as you listen to them — so they go from softer, more atmospheric to stronger, poppier sounds. They will leave you feeling empowered and energized.

It’s a pretty eclectic mix — there’s some indie pop, hip-hop, pop, electronic, alt pop — but it’s a great combination and it’s all the stuff I’m loving right now.

Hope you enjoy!

LG Faves: February 2019

LG Faves February 2019

It’s time for some February favorites. Since I have been following my February intention of read more, stream + read online less, I have two books and no TV shows, lol! A big part of being able to read more is to not be addicted to a TV show. Anyways, I hope you find something interesting to check out below.

Food: Lavva Coconut Yogurt

Oh Lavva how I love thee! I have finally found a dairy free yogurt that I actually enjoy, doesn’t have tons of sugar, and the ingredient list is normal. I had been missing dairy yogurt because I grew up with my mom putting a dollop of yogurt or cottage cheese on so many things: fruit salads, oatmeal, granola, toast, etc, but as I got older I started having skin issues on my arms and we found out that it was linked to dairy so the yogurt had to go. I had been searching for a replacement but I didn’t enjoy the flavor of any of the ones on the market – until I found Lavva! It is delicious and the ingredient list and sugar content is amazing. I highly recommend checking it out if you have to find a dairy free yogurt alternative.

Nonfiction Book: What Made Maddy Run? by Kate Fagan

Oh this book! I have talked about it a lot now – you can read my takeaways from it here. I can’t recommend it enough. No matter who you are you will learn something and gain some empathy and understanding reading this powerful book.  

Fiction Book: The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Real Magic

This book is so much fun. It’s all about entering into a different magical world surrounded by magicians, kings, dragons, fairies, and I just loved it. It was a nice change from such a serious book (Maddy) and you find yourself falling into a wonderful fantasy hole that sweeps you away. If you’re looking for something fun this is the book for you. 

Music: Lizzo

Lizzo’s music is upbeat and empowering. She has an incredible voice and her music reminds me of powerful woman’s voices from the Motown, soul, disco era. It immediately puts me in a good mood and makes me want to dance, and I love that most of her lyrics focus on loving your body, embracing who you are, and strutting your stuff. It is refreshing! She just came out with a new song called Juice and her new album – Cuz I Love You – is coming out in April.

Clothing: Girlfriend Collective Bodysuits

I have been wearing these bodysuits for a while and can’t believe I haven’t mentioned them before! I love them. The brand – Girlfriend Collective – is amazing. They believe in slow fashion and only use ethical manufacturing and recycled materials for their clothing. The body suits are so soft and comfortable. The Lily bodysuit is my favorite so far, and I love that theres button snaps at the bottom so you don’t have to take the entire bodysuit off to go to the bathroom, makes life so much easier! They’re soft, comfortable, and flattering.

Movement: Running

I started running again after many years of having to avoid it because of recovery and it has been so special. I can’t believe how much I have missed it and am so grateful I was able to reintroduce this movement back into my life. I am going to write a longer post about this because there is much more tied with running and my eating disorder, but for now what I want to say is that I feel so profoundly happy that I have reached a point in my recovery where I can enjoy running again in a healthy way.

 Movie: The Boy Downstairs

I have always liked Zosia Mamet from her days on Girls and the column she wrote for Glamour. I find her very interesting and thoughtful so I enjoy following the work that she does. I recently saw this cute rom-com she did on HBO and enjoyed it. It was a quirky indie film but a nice light watch with a different storyline than the typical rom-coms and takes place in hipster Brooklyn which is always fun.