four days without a phone

The Original LG - Tough Times

I lost my phone four days ago. I left it in an Uber in Paris on the way to the airport and have now been living four days completely without a phone. Since it has been quite destabilizing I wanted to ramble on what has come up for me during this experience – and in case you’re wondering, no I still do not have a phone, lol.

It has been a strange and eye-opening experience. From my complete helplessness in being able to get it back (it was either getting on my flight or trying to find the phone), to having to surrender to being without it, to losing communication with the outside world (emails have been my main form of communication), and then dealing with how to get a new phone without having a phone to make phone calls with — it has been a serious practice in surrender and patience.

You don’t realize how much you rely on something until you do not have it, and our phones pretty much contain our lives nowadays.

On top of that, I was sick on my flight back from Paris with a cold and felt depleted when I got home. Then on Saturday I woke up with terrible cramps and got my period. It has felt like one thing after another!

I have felt disoriented and unsure of what to do with myself. Which made me realize: we truly are addicted to our phones. I have not thought of myself as a very phone dependent person, but this experience made me realize how real the addiction is.

I feel like I have gone through stages of withdrawal these past few days: it started with shock and disbelief, then anger and frustration, followed by sadness and isolation, and now finally release.

Friday and Saturday were the worst, but today I woke up and thought: well I have to go on without it.

I went out and did all the things I normally “needed” my phone to do. I went on a hike in complete silence, I drove around LA without google maps, picked up my boyfriend for lunch at the exact time we had agreed upon (no little timing changes or running late), read my New Yorker Magazine when I got a pedicure, took chances by going to places without knowing if they were open or not (and surprise - the library was closed) and then adjusting.

It has been strange, and I do feel like I am missing out in some weird way and was scared as a female doing things alone without any way of being able to reach out to someone if something went wrong, but after pushing through these discomforts, I am seeing the gift in it.

The freedom and space it has given me is lovely. I am not constantly bombarded by messages all throughout my day. When I am with someone, I give them my full attention, having nothing to pull at my thoughts or check on even for a second. When I am out and about, I am fully present. When I am at my apartment I have done things that are more introspective and nourishing - I have read interesting articles, read more of my books, and journaled each day. I have gone to sleep MUCH earlier each night. And I overall just feel calmer.

Is your Wedding Day the best day of your life? An exploration...

Lisa Simpson Marriage

I have a lot to say on this subject so I will be breaking it up into multiple parts

Part I

A few years ago, a friend was upset with me when I was not able to attend her wedding. She was so upset that she stopped speaking with me and eventually told me that she had decided to give up on our friendship. She felt that I showed her that our friendship didn’t matter to me when I decided to not attend her wedding, as this was supposed to be “the best day of her life.”

I was surprised to hear that because:

  1. I do not share that same opinion

  2. I didn’t know it would be such a big deal, and

  3. I wasn’t expecting such a drastic response

I didn’t realize that a friendship could be terminated over not attending a wedding, so this got me thinking – is your wedding day really supposed to be the best day of your life? Why do so many people, particularly women, have this belief? And what are my views on it? 

Where I am from, which is probably like most places in the US, having a lavish, over the top wedding has become a show of status and wealth. I feel like people are trying to outdo each other and there is something about it that doesn’t sit well with me.

The number of destination weddings requiring you to travel to fancy far off places, spend a lot of money, and take days off of work for something that isn’t of your choosing just baffles me.

You’re asking me to use my vacation days and extra hard earned money to go to a place that I didn’t choose, and do a bunch of events and activities that I didn’t agree to do, for you? We are all adults now and I choose to do what I want.

None of it feels authentic to me and to be extremely honest, it feels like a meaningless display of pretense. What are people trying to prove? This is a special event for you and your husband-to-be and your close families to celebrate your love for each other, why are you asking people to travel across the world to a place where you don’t even live to do this?

Another element of this that makes me uncomfortable is when you put a lot of pressure on an event to live up to something huge - aka the best day of your life.

I have had multiple experiences in my life where I have big expectations for a certain day or event, and then it just doesn’t measure up and I am left feeling really disappointed.

For me these were things like: graduation, getting into and attending my dream school (Stanford) – this was a huge let down, getting into the sorority I wanted, my first job after college, or having sex, none of these things ended up being that great and they left me feeling low, so I shifted my perspective.

I have realized that things that I don’t make a big deal about, but instead simply enjoy and appreciate the moment, end up being some of my best days.  Like: meeting a new friend, going on a hike with them and then having a lovely glass of wine and conversation. Or a normal day that ends up being amazing because you slept well, wake up feeling good, have a delicious cup of coffee, go on a nice walk and read a good book - I have chosen to enjoy savoring the simple things.

To me, these big events are so done up and seem to be a bigger source of stress and anxiety than enjoyment, and I guess I don’t put that day or even romantic relationships on as huge a pedestal as it seems that most other women do.

In Part II I am going to dive into the history of marriages/wedding ceremonies and explore the feminist perspective on these topics.. Stay tuned!

LG Faves: January 2019

The Original LG January Favorites

It’s time for some January favorites! The first of the year :) I have discovered some amazing things that I am loving, so I am excited to share!

WORKOUT: Kait Hurley Move + Meditate

I am obsessed with Kait Hurley’s workouts because they leave you feeling SO GOOD. They provide a great mix of: mindfulness, toning, getting your heart rate up and being challenging, great stretches throughout that relieve tension and feel amazing, and then ending with a lovely meditation that helps you tune inward and cultivate presence. By the end you feel like you had an amazing workout and are also calmer and more present. I can’t say enough on how much I love this program. She has many different workout classes: fun toning high intensity workouts, mindful running workouts, yummy yoga flows, and guided meditations. I cancelled all of my workout class passes here in LA because I enjoy doing these workouts more.

WELLNESS: Ayurvedic Oil Pulling

I have become addicted to this habit because it leaves my teeth and mouth feeling amazing. It feels like conditioner for your gums and mouth. Basically oil pulling consists of swishing about 1 tbsp of Ayurvedic oil around in your mouth for a few minutes (making sure not to swallow any of it), then spitting it out into a trash can, and then rinsing your mouth with some warm water. Some directions say to swish the oil around in your mouth for 20 minutes — but that’s too long for me! I usually do it for about 7-10 minutes first thing in the morning. It leaves your mouth and breath feeling clean and refreshed, and also has tons of other benefits that you can find here. I know it sounds weird, but I highly recommend it!

BOOK: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

This book has been extremely helpful in managing my anxiety and overthinking. It feels like it is a handbook on taming mental activity and relieving you of pointless suffering. The way that Eckhart Tolle explains and breaks down all of the concepts is very powerful. It is also a spiritual book and has introduced me to new ideas I had never thought of or even fathomed that are very freeing. I highly recommend reading this book if you’re someone who struggles with anxiety, depression, overthinking, unhappiness, or pretty much anyone who wants to be more at peace, because it helps you live a more present, mindful, content life.

MAKE: Homemade Nut Milk

I started making homemade nut milks and have loved how creamy and delicious they are.  They upgrade everything you put them in — lattes, matcha tonics, oatmeal, smoothies, etc. I don’t always have the time to make it but when I do it makes me so happy. It is honestly very simple to make, it just takes some planning. My recipe is on my Instagram here if you’re interested!

MUSIC: My Winter - Fresh Playlist!

I made a Winter playlist a few weeks ago that I have been playing on repeat. I pulled this playlist together with the theme of fresh, fun, dance-y, melodic beats and a mix of some new stuff that I am enjoying at the moment. You can listen to it here!  

TV Show: Schitt’s Creek

My best friend told me about this show a few weeks ago and I have been watching it most nights ever since. It is hilarious and I love all of the characters. It is about an extremely wealthy family that loses all of their fortune so they are forced to live in a rural town and adapt to a whole new way of living. Throughout all of these changes, they go through so many hilarious situations that they have to deal with. The show is easy to watch and light-hearted which is exactly what I have been needing lately.

BEAUTY: Ilia True Skin Serum Foundation

I don’t like wearing much makeup, but as an actress I need to have a solid makeup routine. The only time I wear actual makeup is when I have an audition or am filming something, on other days I simply wear some moisturizer with SPF, curl my eyelashes, and a little blush. Anyways, in the past I had been wearing a very light, tinted moisturizer and it just wasn’t enough for on camera work, so I went into Blue Mercury to try out a few different foundations and discovered this incredible one from Ilia! Right away I loved it, it is natural and feels like I am not wearing anything, but provides great coverage. It’s moisturizing but it didn’t leave my skin looking very glowy and shiny the way a few of the other foundations did. Ilia is an incredible clean beauty brand, only using organic and natural ingredients. I am so happy I found this foundation that checks all the boxes for me!